Somedays I wonder if the soul of a shih tzu puppy was mistakenly transplanted into my body. And if you knew how much I disliked dogs of all kinds you would also know how my canine species knowledge is limited to the kinds of dogs my dog lover friends have so excuse the weird analogy. I’m not talking about days where I feel the urge to pee in the garden or scratch my ear with my foot or anything. I’ll lend you a peek into my head for the moment.

My image of freedom isn’t the ocean, a Boeing 747 above the clouds or the countdown of the UTS formal exam period reaching zero. It’s a snow white puppy of a breed of your choosing (a dog is just a dog in my head) frolicking in the sun. And it’s not the sun we have in our world. Brighter than a billion IKEA bulbs lit up at the same time, it’s light I can see in my head that isn’t real because it’s just too nice, too warm and nothing too humid. It makes my vision so clear that I can take my glasses off and still see perfectly. It makes the grass the dog is lying on such a pure green, you’d think the green we’d been seeing all our lives was a lie. And in this light, this environment, this place, the false melts away and clarity is all we see, all we are. 

I become that puppy (I’ve decided on a shih tzu). And I’m so excited that I feel like my tiny heart will burst with all this energy I’m getting from around me. It’s days like these I want to run a marathon, to jump in my car and drive to the other side of the world, eat a million fish and devour a thousand books. But mortality is a roundhouse kick to the imagination. And I wake up to realise I’m not in the real sun but on my bed, in my room watching the ceiling fan spin my dreams away.

Somedays you wake up in that dazed state that makes you realise today is the day you’re going to conquer the world. You have all your plans neatly in your lap and you’re ready to go but suddenly a crowd of people appear and they can’t stop knocking into you so everything flies around while you struggle to catch them all. Somedays you’ve already secured your wings to yourself with wax but the world decides to move a mile closer to the sun and you’re back to the drawing board.

I think I’m out of analogies but my point is, on days like these you just put the juggling balls down (I lied), play a song and tell yourself tomorrow’s the day you’re going to take over the world.